Marriage Check-Ups

Just like your car needs a tune-up, so does your marriage.  Successful couples set a specific time to do an evaluation of their marriage. This could be weekly, bi-monthly, or monthly depending what you and your wife decide.

Many couples have found it really helpful to set a time to meet once a week. That way if something has come up, they can discuss it if they haven't been able to during the week.  This check-up can be as formal or causal as you want. For example, it could be as formal as each spouse thoughtfully saying the top-five positives and top-two negatives of the week. You could then talk about relationship/marriage goals you had set for the week and assess the progress you made or the areas that need improvement. For less formal check-ups it could be as simple as eating dessert together or going for a walk and just having a very informal discussion about the week. For instance, how the two of you thought the week went and what you liked and didn't like. These check-ups are just little ways to make sure you and your wife are on track.

A little tip that I would suggest is to make sure that when you talk about the negatives, you focus on attacking the problem not your spouse.

Note: If you are having the same arguments or problems over and over consider going to see your religious leader or a marriage counselor. Talking about these issues with a professional might bring new eyes to the situation and can help give you tools to put an end to those issues in a positive way. There are a lot of people in our society who look at counseling in a negative light. I want you to know that is an incorrect perspective. Couples who go to counseling care about their marriage and are willing to work and do whatever it takes to have an optimal marriage. Not all counselors are equal, so please try several counselors to make sure you find one that fits you and your spouse.